Had a little bit of a rough day but saw inspiration as I left that great American Think tank this evening – some call it Target.  What a tremendous store – I did need everything I purchased this evening – I was not seduced by the red Clearance sticker that my wife is typically lured by.  You know these stickers – screaming you need this bamboo telephone book holder station thing – the drawer in the kitchen will no longer do.  Sorry – tangent. 

Back to the rough day – but the UFC came to mind.  The Ultimate Fighting Championship.  Have you seen this yet?  I always secretly wanted to be in a boy band – an ‘N Sync perhaps – very cool but I had to say buh, bye, bye, bye to that dream.  I am now convinced I could perhaps thrive in the UFC -if they had like a middle-aged, white collar, non-tattooed, never have six pack abs, weekend warrior division.  I would be all over that.  The gym is just not enough for that stress relief.  There are just days when you need a UFC like experience.

I say this because I am pretty sure they have no rules they just go at it.  Kicking each other’s ass until one submits.  I think we can all learn something from this.  I really see some practical parallels in the UFC culture that we could bring to corporate America.

We digress – I am well aware of a tobacco company that of course you are allowed to smoke at your desk.  It’s 2007 and you can smoke at your desk.  No need to take a smoke break here – fire one up right at your desk.  Wow, it is encouraged and they even have signs that say things like "Smoking Allowed."  Why not?  It is their product.                  

But back to the UFC and how it applies to you – I was just thinking about your work environment – you go to some meeting.  The meeting gets a little heated, a little personal or borders on it.  At your company, this meeting gets to a boiling point – some jack crack speaks out of turn but stops short of saying what they really should say – perhaps someone gets thrown under the bus.  I love that saying.

So here is the deal though – instead of people returning to their desks dejected and demotivated – the senior manager speaks up and says something like – we are gonna settle this issue right here – right now in like a "Let’s get ready to rumble" voice.  Some doors open up at the end of the conference room and suddenly you are ringside as two of your co-workers, department heads let’s say are in this cage like ring thing – bright lights, some rap tune, you will download to your ipod later, playing so loud you wish someone would back off the bass and you can smell the rawness of what is about to happen.  You like this scene.

We are not talking those gimmicky sumo suits people put on at the halftime of a sporting event – we are talking ass kicking over business issues that don’t require macros and pivot table laden spreadsheets – oh no, just bring it on – if you can kick my ass in under 6 rounds – we can go with SAP – we will make that multi-million dollar investment.  Maybe it’s you and your boss in the cage after a poor performance review, one with no raise.  Your boss says it’s not in the budget – ok – then I am thinking he must pay another way.

I think the UFC corporate headquarters must be a great place to work and I am pretty sure they have adopted this kind of problem avoidance/conflict resolution policy.  You have an issue, let’s meet and discuss, if it gets to a point of gridlock – we go at it – simple.  Can you imagine the recruiting power of this policy.  A candidate asks, "What is the environment like here?  Do departments and people work together here?  Is it a team environment?"  You are now given the power to say, "Oh, definitely a team environment and when there are issues we settle them quickly and decisively – we have implemented a policy for such."  Doesn’t this give creedance to a whole new level of Six Sigma Blackbelt?

Someone’s ass will be kicked, someone will get their way and the other will like it and we will all be better for it or it will be go-time again.  This is the panacea to improving company morale.  Forget the ropes course retreat stuff – scrap the company picnic – the 3rd Wednesday night is UFC day at your company – let’s go cage match – right now.  Bring it on mid-level manager guy!

What is wrong with me?